finding what's important

what is contentment?

2011-09-19T19:27:00.000-07:00

Instead of giving the straight definition from the dictionary I will describe contentment as this: being satisfied with life despite the things you are going through at any given moment. So if you are in a lot of debt it isn't like being content with yourself means that you won't try to eliminate that debt, it just means that you realize that even if you get rid of that debt it won't make a difference on how you feel about yourself or life. So even if you don't have the latest toys or even if your health isn't where it should be you can be content. This is something I think very few of us achieve but I think whether we know it or not we are all trying to find it. The problem is that we tend to look in the wrong places to satisfy that need for contentment.

What would make you happy?

Ebay, the online auction store, had a slogan when they first started: “What would make you happy?” The idea was that in your life you are currently not happy but if you go to ebay you could find relics from your childhood that could remind you of happier times. So my question to you is “What would make you happy?” I know in my life this was the case that I would try to find that state of happiness in the wrong things and then those things would end up only making things worse. For example when I used to collect stuff, if that "stuff" was a part of an on going series then if I don't have the next in the series I would feel anxiety. It's a scary thought but I think everyone has a similar obsession in their lives and it really doesn't have to be only physical stuff. It could be related to relationships or checking everyones updates on facebook or twitter. It's that constant need to feel complete and we have our "stuff" to distract us from our lives. I know when things are tough and I feel like I lost control I try that much harder to control those things I do have power over and in those times I return to my old habits. Sometimes it is easier to try and "complete" a collection than it is to deal with a major life issue.

I will be happy when (fill in the blank)

I thought that when I got out of debt I would finally find that contentment I sought after. Granted life is so much better without that hanging over me but it wasn't like my life had been perfect after I paid off my last bill; life will always brings issues and problems we never would have anticipated. So now I have two chronic illnesses and I have to ask myself "would I be happier" if I didn't have to deal with these problems? It would be nice to not have to deal with it but if I didn't have that to deal with there would be something else that would come along to replace it.

So if there will always be problems in life how can someone be content? Contentment is a "state of mind" and so you change the statement "I will be happy when (fill in the blank)" to "I won't be any more content than I am right now if I had (fill in the blank)". Trying to think this way has really helped me and if there is something I want to buy I have to think if it is some compulsion that I am using as a distraction or if it is something I do want. I still buy things but I am much more thoughtful about what I buy most of the time.

As for the problems we face sometimes it helps to see the positives in those bad situations. For example I may have diabetes but the issue of my blood sugar being too high has forced me to have to eat better and get exercise. Those are two things I have been wanting to do and because I am eating better and going on walks I feel so much better. Now not all the bad stuff in life can be viewed in a positive light but I can look back on many of the "bad" things that have happened and I can see the positive direction my life has gone because of what I learned in those dark moments.

Looking beyond yourself can help you be more content

If we are helping others we will be much more happier than helping ourselves. It's funny how that works but I know that I feel so much better when I am able to give to someone else than when I get something for myself. Also knowing there is a God and looking to Him helps. Knowing that there is something else more powerful than myself that is ultimately in control of the universe is comforting. If we look to God and try to be more like what He wants us to be as a result we will be more content. Here is a verse from the bible written by the apostle Paul that I think sums this up pretty well:

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Philippians 4:10-13 (New International Version)

¹⁰I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. ¹¹I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. ¹²I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

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Where I want to be someday is what he states in verse 12 "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation".

Whether things are going well for me or I am having a really bad week, I hope that I can learn how to be content despite my circumstances.

change your mind

2011-08-29T08:29:00.000-07:00

The mind is an interesting organ. It is like a powerful computer that we upload programs to on a daily basis. What we don’t realize sometimes is how much damage we can do to the operating system. As I go through life and try to make changes to who I am the one thing I try to do is put new information in my head all the time in order to deal with things in a much better and different way than I did before. Sometimes it can be really hard to break old habits. Habits are like programed default steps we make on a daily basis. Once we get the program running it can be very difficult to do things a different way.

Lately I have been putting some more thought into this and four things came to mind that got me thinking. 3 of which are songs and one of is a bible verse.

The first is the Sister Hazel Song, “Change Your Mind”. Here is a sample from the lyrics:

I hope you’ve heard every word I've said
Yeah yeah
If you've had enough of all your tryin'
Just give up
The state of mind you're in:

If you want to be somebody else,
If you're tired of losing battles with yourself
If you want to be somebody else,
Change your mind, change your mind.
Change your mind, change your mind.
Out of your mind, out of your mind,
Just lose your mind.

I love this song though it is easier said than done but in some ways it is really that simple. Just stop doing the things that have been keeping you down. A lot of the problems we have in life start with our head.

The second is “Things Like You” by Sanctus Real. Sample from the lyrics:

Loving things like you has left me bruised, black and blue
Loving things like you has made me so confused
And I can't figure out what I've been waiting on
God I can't be living for things I know are wrong

Now I think it's time to write a better chapter in my life
Leaving all those things that keep me wrapped so tight

The fact that I used to be a big collector/hoarder of stuff, this song really spoke to me. There are so many “things” that we get wrapped up in that take up so much of our time and our resources. When I sold a lot of my collections that I held on to I felt so free. I feel this way about TV shows I get hooked on watching as well. Sometimes the best thing that happens to me is when a show that I am addicted to gets canceled. Definitely frees up my evening to do something productive.

The third is a new song by Leeland called “The Opposite Way”:

And it seems like you’re locked in a cage
And you need to find a way of escape
When everyone is setting the pace
It’s okay to run the opposite way

I LOVE this song. “When everyone is setting the pace, It’s okay to run the opposite way”. There are so many things in life that we do because it is expected of us. Sometimes we have to stop and do a 180 and go the “Opposite Way” of what everyone else is doing. It’s okay not to follow the crowd. When I was in debt I was surrounded by messages that said that debt was just a part of life and so I felt okay with “treating myself”. Then one day I went the Opposite Way and never felt better.

And the forth is from Romans 12:2 (NIV):

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

This is a great verse I reflected on a lot and I have been thinking about especially more this week because I am working on making more changes in the way I do things. I see the “pattern of this world” as the current program and the “renewing or your mind” as a reformatting of the brain. Sometimes we need to hit the brain’s reset button to stop doing things the old way and begin to do things the way we should.

All of these have a theme and that’s reprogramming the mind.

We seem to get stuck in a rut sometimes and think we should keep on doing the things we have been doing but we should simply change our minds and do things differently. Just how the bad habits were formed in our lives, you start doing the right things enough it because easier. I feel better when I do things the right way and I need to remember that and add it to my brains “Favorites” file (or at least create a shortcut on the desktop for easy access). When things in my life are organized and when I eat right I feel really good. So as a goal I am going to try to work on “Changing my mind”.

Original post August 2008

ghost in the mall

2011-08-28T17:57:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wandered through the mall and felt invisible?

I have many times. On Saturday mornings I would sometimes drive out to the mall and just wander around and look at stuff. As I walk through the mall I notice people scrambling around trying to find something to buy. It is like they had no intent on buying something specific. They pull out their money for the first thing that catches their eye. They seem so focused on this "quest" that they really don't notice the people around them. I have found that I could walk from one end of the mall to the other and it seems that no one notices that I am there. It is like I become invisible. There are times when I become visible again but only for a moment- I enter a store and a clerk asks me if I need help. I answer "Nope, just wandering aimlessly." They smile and I smile back. I then become invisible again. I am not a customer anymore so they no longer see me. While I am invisible I observe people. They walk up and down isles of stuff not knowing what they should spend their money on. Why do people try so hard to give up the money they worked all week to earn? Then they wonder where all their money is going. It's kind of a scary thought. Do they not realize what they are doing?

Why do people buy so many things they don’t need?

I used to be like that yet I can't understand it my self. Maybe it is trying to fill some kind of need. Maybe it is out of boredom. The scary thing is this cycle continues over and over. Within a week that thing they thought they needed now sit in a closet with all the other mall purchases. That must have DVD now sit on a display shelf. It probably won't be played again for another 3 years if ever. It's that new pair of shoes that will go into the closet with the 20 to 30 other pairs and will probably only be worn a couple of times. That feeling takes over. They have to have (fill in the blank) in order to feel complete; in order to feel happy. Though these people leave the mall more empty then they came in only to return a week later. The problem is they fail realized that stuff doesn't bring happiness.

Can people ever change?

Yes. I was once someone who bought too much stuff. Here is what I learned: No thing can make me happy no matter what some marketing campaign says. One day I was walking through the mall to buy an item that I didn't necessarily want but I felt I needed it to complete a collection. I had that item in my hand. I pulled out my wallet. Then I stopped myself and stared at the item for a second and said to myself, "Josh, why do you need this? You don't even like it and yet you are willing to spend 10 dollars on this." I put the item back on the shelf then put my wallet back in my pocket. I left the mall that day without anyone noticing because they could no longer see me. I was now invisible. For the first time I was able to experience that contentment that I sought ever visit to the mall. I experienced joy with the revelation that I didn't need to buy anything. Every once in awhile I have to remind myself of that moment because I am far from perfect. As time goes on it becomes easier and easier to stop myself.

Originally posted August 2007

why i rarely watch the news

2011-08-06T19:05:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder what the purpose of the news is. It seems with the 24 hour news cycle in order to keep you watching it's like the news organizations want to keep the country divided and they want to keep us in fear. If the news was boring they would be out of jobs because no one would watch since the ratings wouldn't be high enough to sell the ads. It's really sad actually. They got most of the country in two factions: conservatives and liberals. There are people on the national level who play those parts well. Everything seems to be black and white... if you aren't one you're the other. The truth is that out there in the real world we really aren't fully one or the other. We get along with people who have opposing view points every day. And some of us if we write out all that we believe on some issues we are on some conservative and others liberal. We all want this country to do well, we just have differing opinions on how to get that done. I wonder if the media didn't create such a polarization where we would be today.

Local news has it's own issues. It seems that local news in order to find something to talk about find the worst things that happened in the city that day. I am not saying they shouldn't report on this stuff but how do we benefit by watching it. Does it make our lives so much better to know that someone got murdered downtown last night? Does it make a difference to know about the major car accident on the freeway during rush hour? The only time I can imagine needing to know about a major car accident is if I am on that freeway when it happened and now I know to avoid that area or at least prepare for delays. One thing I noticed by reducing the amount of local news I watch is I feel much better about the community. If you aren't being told about the rare isolated incidences that happened you can feel much safer going on a walk through any part of town because it really is safer than what they portray on TV.

Entertainment news is the worst. Even when I try to get away from it I still know what's going on with Lindsay Lohan. How many movies has she been in recently? Why is it so important to know details about her life or any other celebrity for that matter.

I do get the news online but I skim the headlines and click on the articles that seem important or that interest me. If I missed something "important" I will find out about it through someone I know.

in a moment of discontent

2011-07-27T12:10:00.000-07:00

The feeling of discontentment came over me once again. It sneaks up on me and reminds me of the things I want that I don’t have; it lets me know that my body doesn’t work as well as it used to; it wants to send me off to the store to buy things that I don’t need; it tells me that I am sad and lonely; it brings up all my failures in life; it wants me to find the first fast food drive thru and eat food that will make me feel sick the rest of the day.

But then I put that feeling of discontentment in it’s place as I remind it that I am happy with what I already have; I may have health issues but I feel better than I have in years because I have cut back on what I eat; I don’t have any business buying things I don’t need when I need to save money and besides my closet has a enough things sitting unused that felt I HAD to buy; Even though my friends are not with me this second I have many friends & family who care about me very much; Though I sometimes give in to the discontentment I am reminded time and time again that it has no place in my life.

Today is a good day and nothing can take that from me. So instead of letting discontentment get me down I will go for a walk. Then later I will sit back on the couch, put on a jazz album, and read a good book. And finally thank God for helping me turn around my attitude.

fire your favorite tv shows

2011-07-18T22:52:00.000-07:00

I find that I enjoy the summer time because most of my favorite tv shows are on hiatus until the fall. But thinking about that... it's very strange... If I enjoy these shows so much then why am I happy they are off the air? Why do I continue to watch these shows if they are such a burden? That is a question I ask myself every summer and yet come September I got my TV schedule all lined up... But this time will be different. I am going to fire some of my favorite TV shows. And maybe you should do the same.

Here is an example of a show I am moving on from: The Office. The show was funny at first and it had a lot of fun stories that got me to watch from week to week but after 7 years I am not sure why I still watch. It's supposed to be a comedy but more than anything it's just painfully awkward. Since I had invested so many years into these characters I continued to watch... why should I feel an obligation to a tv show and to characters that aren't even real? It makes no sense. Now if you watch The Office and still enjoy it that's fine but I think it is important to find ways of limiting tv watching and eliminate those shows you can do without.

What I find during the summer with less tv viewing is I am much more productive with my time. I enjoy reading non fiction. I read books that help me improve myself and my view of the world around me... I love to learn new things and when I invest my time in the lives of fictional characters I have gained nothing. I have just wasted my time watching ads for products I don't need as the networks try and get me to watch from week to week so they can sell more ad time.

Why not take that time spent on tv and use it to work toward developing real relationships with the people around you and learn about real things that can help improve yourself and others. I am not saying I am giving up on all shows but I need to know when to move on and limit my viewing.

what if vs now what

2011-07-03T22:04:00.000-07:00

I think all my life I have asked "what if" questions in the sense of "what if" I did something differently, where would my life be now. "What if" I didn't make that big mistake or take that wrong path. To dwell on "what ifs" months to years later isn't healthy or productive. It's not like you can travel back in time and change things. You should ask the question "now what" instead of "what if". "Now what" am I going to do moving forward? What do I do so I don't repeat the same mistakes? If you ask the right questions you can learn from your failures and move on a much stronger wiser person. You can look back on your life and see all the good that came out of what you learned from that one bad misstep.

finding what's important

2011-07-03T19:29:00.000-07:00

I have re-branded my site to "finding what's important by reducing life's clutter". The posts originally were focused on me getting rid of stuff and I did get rid of a lot of extra stuff I had and though I am not as organized as I would like to be I haven't bought a lot of things I don't need in the last few years. When my health took a negative turn I realized that clutter is more than just physical clutter but it is also mental clutter. When you have a lot of things happen in life you learn how to reduce those things that don't matter and focus more on what is important. So this begins my journey of posting on those things that I find important to focus on. Most of my posts are advice to myself but I also post them to the public because I think they could be helpful to you as well if you are going through similar stuff.

So what is important? There are the big things like God, family, and friends but there are also those small things that make life interesting. Before my focus was on removing the clutter but now I believe a little clutter is good to have around in order to keep life interesting. So check back from time to time and comment on my posts so you to can share "what's important" to you.

enjoy life!

2011-02-02T23:03:00.001-08:00

There are many things in life that can get us down. It could be health, money, relationships, worrying about the future, the state of your country, the state of the world... We all have so many things on our minds all the time we forget to enjoy life. We spend so many hours worrying about things and if you really think about it most of those things in the end don't matter. Lets say you are having money problems; it doesn't do you any good to think about it all the time. Just as you can set aside time to work out your problem you can set aside time to not worry about those problems.

I made the mistake a few short years ago in thinking that if I just got over this one issue I was dealing with that my life would be so much better but then that issue was solved and another problem came up behind it. I waste so much time trying to work out scenario after scenario to make things better but if my end goal is to find contentment I am never going to find it and in the end I am missing out on enjoying life.

There will always be problems, some bigger than others. If you get past one then you will just have something else to worry about the next day. Some may find this depressing but I think there is comfort in knowing this and to me it makes my current problems seem much less stressful. So what I propose we all do is learn to give time to the things that need our time but after that time is up put it aside and take the time to enjoy life and be thankful for all the things that we do have.

where i am is not where i thought i would be

2010-08-17T21:49:00.000-07:00

I remember when I was around 8 years old in 1982 trying to figure out what I would be like in the year 2000. I don't remember what I thought at the time only that I was thinking about it. I do remember that I never fully became at 26 what I thought I would be at age 8. That's almost impossible to figure out because one usually never know where life is going to take you. Not being what I thought I would be at age 8 is a bad thing? For the most part not at all because an 8 year old really doesn't have life so figured out that for me not to conform to what I thought I would be is okay. The things like wanting to be a good person and do the right thing should always be a goal throughout life but if those goals were to become rich and famous I think most of us realize there is much more to life than that.

Last year I started to look for a house. I had a very fun time with my boss/realtor trying to find a place. So where I imagined my life would be like right now was in a house and not my apartment I lived in for the past decade. But things fell apart when I couldn't get the tax credit and so thus where I thought I would be is not where I ended up. I have always had a roommate in this apartment but since he thought I was moving he made a promise to his brother that he would move in with him. So now it is just me living here with my cat (since my sister's baby has ashma she couldn't have her anymore so I took her in). At first I was kinda depressed at how things turned out since it was far from what I had planned and it still weighs on my mind. At first so much so that I started falling into old habits (nothing I am embarrassed to share about but are irrelevent to this post) and I have had so much on my mind that I would ignore simple things like cleaning up after myself. Sometimes the dishes would sit in the sink an extra day; I would do laundry and just let the pile sit unfolded (which would cause extra work since now I need to iron everything).

The point of this post is I think I can relate to those hoarders I see on TV. You see these people who let life overwhelm them so much that they just stop taking care of themselves and try to surround themselves with things in an attempt to make themselves happy again. Luckily for me that I have been on such an obsessive path to have so few things that I can clean up my apartment to look presentable in a matter of minutes. Some things would take longer but it is pretty easy. My problem is is that now I need to clean out the clutter in my mind. I have so many things trying to fight for attention that I can't think straight half the time. The nice thing is at work I have an organized to do list and it gives me a break from my life. What I need to do is treat my life like I do my job; I need to take that mental list that has been nagging at me for months and separate it out into catagories to re-organize and get back out of the habits that I thought I left behind months if not YEARS ago.

Here is the list:

I need to find those little things that I have been ignoring and take care of them so I no longer have to think of them. It is so sad how easy those things are and yet I haven't done them. This week I already started clearing off this list and it feels good.
I need to stop the habits that are effecting my health and quality of life. I know how to live my life in a way that makes me feel good. I need to eat right and budget my money better again. When I do that I feel like I am in so much control.
I need to find those things that are on my mind that I can't take care of right away and make goals and steps on moving forward.
I need to accept those things in life that I have no control over and stop obsessing over those issues. It is what it is and life is about living despite those set backs we have.

I may not be where I thought I would be. It isn't that where I thought I would be my life would be better because that could have brought with it a whole new set of "issues"; it's just different. So now as I sit here on the couch, I realize how good I have it. I am learning once again to be content with where I am but I continue to make the steps necessary to move on for when I am ready to move on. In the end life is a process. We have the successes and we have the set backs and I just need to remember that and not get discouraged. I also need to let go of some of my old goals that aren't relevant to where I now want to be and realize that the me now doesn't have the same needs and desires as my 8 year old self.

So in the end where I am may not be where I thought I would be but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. As I have had to remind myself from time to time that life isn't about things; it is about learning how to be content with where I am at now.

getting rid of sentimental things

2010-01-06T20:32:00.000-08:00

It is amazing how attached we get to stuff. It seems the longer we hold onto things the harder it is to get rid of. I don't know if it is the fact that if we do get rid of old things that we are in a sense invalidating that person we once were who felt we needed to hold onto it? Okay my use of "we" probably makes me sound a little crazy but after watching shows like "Clean House" and "Hoarders" I realize that I wasn't the only one who holds onto "stuff".

The past few days I have been doing much more purging and keeping in the back of my mind the idea of "less is more". And it really is. I have thousands of music files on my computer but I value much more my humble (in comparison) vinyl record collection. When I have too much it is much harder to enjoy.

This week was probably the biggest step in reducing my stuff, I got rid of my letterman jacket. I have been obsessing over this for years. I would tell myself, "It's an old jacket from high school and since you are in your 30s now there is absolutely no reason for you to wear it so why keep it."

Well here is my answer. In my 10th grade year of high school I joined the track team. I really wasn't that good at the time but my legs got really strong from doing my paper route every morning and I really started to enjoy running so I figured why not. I went from 10th grade where I had the nick name Thumper because my form was so bad you could hear me coming to my 12th grade year where I ran hurdles and earned the coaches award. I was proud of that time of my life because I had a goal to get better and I didn't quit. The lessons I learned from that has carried over to my adult life. So when I looked at that jacket to me it represented that time of my life. The idea of getting rid of that felt like I would lose the memories with it.

The thing is is that I don't need that jacket to remember those times. I don't need to hold onto a jacket that I once wore with pride at Clovis High. Those memories will live with me for many years to come even without it.

I didn't completely get rid of it. I kept the letter. Someday soon I am going to make a display with my coaches award and the letter. Do I need to keep those too, no, but it will be fun to display and if anyone asks about it I can tell the stories of that special time in my life... about a time when I had a goal and I accomplished it.

still striving for contentment despite my illness

2009-12-25T17:45:00.000-08:00

Don't feel like you need to read this blog. It is very long but I felt it was important for me to type it to get my thoughts out:

The blogs I usually write are mainly a way for me to document changes I am trying to make in my life. I usually don't like to post unless I can put either a positive spin on it or say something that could be helpful to those who may stumble upon my words. Today I decided to finally do a full post on the illness I am going through. This week is a good week because this is the first time in over a year since I have been diagnosed that I have had a really good attitude about it.

What is my illness... it is Ulcerative Colitis (UC). You may not have heard much about this illness because it is highly embarrassing since it deals with part of the Colon. There are many debates on what causes UC but the leading theory is that the immune system is attacking good cells in the body causing the Intestines to because damaged and inflamed. When I have times of flare ups (which isn't all the time) I sometimes experience bleeding, bloating, pain, and sometimes the body wants to push things out far before I am ready (which is a pain when I am driving or there is no available restroom).

I had been experiencing this on and off for many years without knowing it and in August of 2008 it got much worse. So bad that the anxiety of not knowing what was wrong with me alone was probably making it worse. And I experienced so much discomfort I was in tears. With medication I am not at that place anymore and it helps that I understand things a little better though some times knowing that this could be a life long problem brings me down sometimes. It can be really tough and embarrassing and I can continue the list but I think you get the point. Keep in mind not every day is like this but enough where I would get really frustrating.

Before I go any farther I want to say thanks to my friends, family, and co-workers. Thanks for putting up with my illness. If it wasn't for you things would be much harder for me. Thanks to those who had seen me at my worst and comforted me. It means a lot to me and I look back on those times fondly.

So as I mentioned I like to keep my blog posts with a positive note and that is because my attitude is turning around on my illness.

I researched sites about Colitis like ccfa.org to find books I could use to help me and I found a really good book called "Eating Right for a Bad Gut". It is an awesome book where the author did a lot of interviews and research on what works and what doesn't for UC sufferers and the feeling I get from this book is the same I got when I read the Dave Ramsey's book, "Total Money Make Over" when I was attempting to get out of debt (which I had done successfully). The "Eating RIght" book really gives detail of how I should eat to feel better and many who have followed the book have done VERY well. Just the few changes I have done over the last week have made me feel better than I have in a very long time.

The idea of the book is to practice good nutrition but there are also things that would be good for most people and not for someone with UC so it puts a spin on nutrition for UC sufferers.

The things I didn't know before reading the book is the how's and why's things would effect me and make me worse. Now I have a much better idea of what I can and can't eat. That means I can go to a restaurant and not be afraid of the menu thinking I am going to be near bedridden the next day because of my choices. So for me going to a resturant was much more scary then public speaking. So if I ever passed on going out to lunch you know why now. Though the hard part of the plan is I have to cut out a few things that I enjoy like red meat, the positive way I look at it now is "do I want a hamburger or do I want to feel good". I think the choice is easy.

Looking Forward

Having this illness could in the long run make me much more healthier then I was before I was diagnosed. Before I had no reason to stop eating the way I was and I had no intention to look into proper nutrition. Based on the fact that I weighed over 40 pounds more than I did before I could have easily had many more health problems over the next few years. Now following the nutrition examples in the book it will be much easier to eat well and feel better. I am still not all the way there on following the rules but from what I have followed so far has been a major motivator to continue on the plan.

Please don't feel bad for me

Everyone has things they go through in life that burdens them. To me this is much easier to go through then when I had 20,000 in debt. I know now how too keep my condition under control a little better. Yes, I will still have some bad days but they won't be nearly as bad as they were before (as long as I follow the rules). The great things about anything that happens to us in life is that it builds character and this has really helped me grow as a person. It helps me better sympathize with others who have chronic illnesses much worse than mine; it helps me eat better and feel MUCH better; it has made me stop and think about what is important in life. So not every day is perfect for me but neither is it for anyone. Though I may have more rules on what I can do it doesn't mean I don't enjoy what I do have and what I can do.

Even though you may not have the condition I have you may want to look into changing how you eat. In this Fast Food society we develop so many preventable illnesses and with just a little more work and education you can learn how to eat right and make life so much more enjoyable. You may end up like me discovering you have much more energy then you did before. That has been the biggest surprise.

Anyway, thanks for reading. If you did read please post a comment.

striving to become a minimalist

2009-09-08T19:20:00.000-07:00

In my search to be more content I hit a few road blocks. Either health issues or getting a new obsession (vinyl records being the latest), it’s hard to be content with my life. My current goal in my striving for contentment is learning to be more of a minimalist. This past weekend I took some huge steps toward that. I gave away or threw out the things that I really don’t need and can part with. As a result I have a pretty clear room and a very organized closet. I think I have a little ways to go but it really does feel good.

It is funny the things I hold onto. There are things I thought I would use again someday but it has been years. There were a few things that I couldn’t part with that will continue to take space in my room. Here is some of the items:

My Letterman Jacket: I thought this was so cool when I got it my Junior Year in high school but when I got to college it instantly became uncool. I really want to get rid of it but I felt like it would violate some unwritten law. Have you or someone you know been able to successfully part with their Letterman Jacket?

Old toys: Sadly enough these were toys I collected in the 90s to have some connection with my childhood. There are just a few to represent different eras of my childhood like He-Man, Star Wars, Gumby and Pokey, etc etc etc. These things will just sit in a tote and may someday see the light of day again. I don’t know why I want to keep them but there is something about pulling out the Luke Skywalker or Darth Vader figure and extending out the light saber from their arms that bring back so many memories from the 70s.

Yearbooks: I don’t think I will ever let these go but they have come in handy for reference materials as seemingly random people try to add me as their friend on Facebook. “Okay, I remember you from our 10 year high school reunion but you are saying we knew each other from High School too? So THAT’S why we were hanging out. Trippy stuff.”

Books: I was successful at getting rid of most of my books but there are some that I still hang on to. I may never read them again but there are some books that really changed my life and so I hold onto them as reminders of the lessons I have learned from them. I think the only way I can part with them is if I can give a book to someone whom is open to learn the things I learned.

Just so you know I don’t like to acquire new stuff all that often so if you ever give me something and I accidentally cringe you will know why. I will probably stress at first over where to put it and then in a few weeks I will stress over the best way to get rid of it. Sadly I do this with the things I buy for myself too. You would think I would stop torturing myself!

disposable music and vinyl records

2009-06-02T14:30:00.001-07:00

Digital music seems to have made music disposable these days. It seems that having it so readily available thru either my many ipods, my iphone, and computer with remote control I can quickly switch, shuffle, pause, fast forward my music very easily. Don’t get me wrong, I think this is a wonderful thing especially when the need comes up when playing music at an event to be able to pull up just the right song for just the right moment like playing music for youth group. Need some game music there is a playlist ready for that; need some background music for reflection time there is a playlist for that too. But being able to access music so easily, has it ruined our ability to appreciate an album? How often do you sit back in your easy chair and just listen to one of your favorite albums? It seems like more often than not it is more back ground music for work or something to listen to on my walks. And I know some of you are thinking about this so I will say it... YES I do think/obsess about this stuff way too much ;-).

Now lets introduce you to vinyl. For those old enough to remember there were these big black disks that you put on a turntable and drop a needle on it. That’s the way we used to listen to music. No way of mixing up the music unless you had a jukebox or you put on tape your favorite songs... but even then you couldn’t put the thing on shuffle. Over the past year or so Vinyl records have been making a come back. Some say it is because it sounds better (more on that later) and others say they want that tangible feeling of dropping the needle. For me there are two reason why I went out and bought a record player again: 1) I wanted that feeling again of sitting back and enjoying an album like I used to; 2) I love the look of vinyl and having the large cover art and I thought it would be fun to collect my favorite albums in the format. I do try to avoid collecting a lot of stuff but I went against my aversion to it and went for it. And after hearing the sound I am VERY glad I did.

The sound of vinyl is remarkable, at least on albums that were originally intended for that format. I didn’t even get the top of the line record player. It was only 100 dollars at Radio Shack. I have it hooked up to my Bose computer speakers. I have been getting into some classic jazz and I picked up a few of my very favorite albums. The detail in the sound was incredible. I used to read websites that said that vinyl sounds better and I couldn’t see how they could think that but now I know. One thing I will say is I am not going to call it better but it is a very different and unique experience that is very enjoyable and worth the money I dropped down on this stuff. I also bought a couple of classic rock albums I love, Boston’s debut album and Steve Miller Band’s best of. Both sound really good and I noticed things in the songs I never noticed when listening on CD or my ipod. The interesting thing is these are not old records I bought at a second hand store, I bought them at Best Buy brand new! Best Buy noticed that record sales have been taking off so at some of their bigger stores they dedicated shelf space to vinyl. A lot of the new albums coming out are also being made available in this format. Some companies are offering digital downloads to offset the fact that you can’t easily transfer vinyl to your ipod like you can a CD. And Coldplay on their latest album offers the CD with the vinyl record. Pretty cool. The new vinyl has improved over the old offerings. They are much thicker and stronger then they were before which makes me think that they may last a lot longer. If you do decide to go with vinyl though keep in mind that the newer albums are a little pricy since they don’t mass produce this stuff like they do CDs.

Of course I just made the transition back to vinyl but it doesn’t mean I am giving up on my digital collection. I spent WAY too much money on it to give up on it and because it is easy I will still primarily use my ipod but what it does mean is that the albums that mean the most to me I will more than likely enjoy by dropping the needle and getting up half way thru the album to flip it to side B... speaking of which I am ready for side B of this album I am listening to right now.

the american debt culture

2008-07-29T19:01:00.003-07:00

Will American's realize that debt doesn't have to be a way of life?

I recently purchased a documentary called “Maxed Out”. It is about how the banks and credit card companies market to us and it talks about some of the evil tactics they use to collect from people. Also featured are stories from people who’s lives have been affected and ruined by debt. I don’t tear up too easily but this one really got to me. You should check it out. It is very eye opening.

It is interesting how in America we live in a culture where people will put themselves into so much debt to keep up a “standard of living” and buy things they have no business buying or taking trips they can’t afford. It seems like at some point this system is going to fall apart. You can’t go on forever racking up debt without the system falling apart. What is sad is people think debt is just a way of life. Scary stuff. It wasn’t always like that.

I think a huge reason why things have become this way is partly because of our education system. There aren’t very many schools that teach kids how to use money. People grow up not understanding how money works and if this continues for a few more generations it will get worse. Some schools are starting to put financial education into schools but sadly some are actually allowing the credit card companies to write the curriculum.

President George W. Bush and Congress came up with the “economic stimulus package”. As a part of this bill, the government issued checks to most Americans to help stimulate the economy. What is sad is the government is encouraging people not to pay off debt with it or save it but to go out and make a major purchase. Buy more stuff! It seems kind of sad that our system depends so heavily on us buying a bunch of stuff we really don’t need. What is worse is our government went into more debt to get this money to us just so a bunch of politicians can look good on an election year. “Look, I gave you a check to buy that new HD TV. Now vote for me in November!”

With so many people in debt and our country’s debt partly being owned by China, a communist country, there will be a day this is going to come back and really hurt us if we don’t turn things around. I hope someday soon we can get some kind of leadership out of Washington to help make a change in the way we Americans handle debt and put back into our education system tools young people can use so they don’t rob from their future for instant gratification today.

budgeting

2008-07-29T19:01:00.001-07:00

As mentioned in my previous blog I had to learn the dreaded word “Budget”! It is something that we ALL know that we need to do but most people don’t do it.

WHY
That is a good question and everyone will have a slightly different answer but I can tell you what was true for me:

Ignorance: I had no clue what budgeting was. I knew it had to do with being more organized with money but I didn’t know where to begin. The only example I hearing about the government doing a budget and we know how that turns out.

I wanted to do what I want: If I wanted to get a new computer and I just HAD to have it I would get it. I would find out how to get it and how many credit cards I would get the money from but I would find every way to justify it. It is amazing what you can “justify” if you want something bad enough. If I had a budget I couldn’t get that new computer because then I would know even more so what I already knew that I couldn’t afford it.

HOW
There are many different technics to budgeting but I will try to give you a general overview. The first thing you must do is BEFORE you spend a single dime know where your money is going. What you need to do is either use a text program on your computer or write it out by hand and whatever you write out you must stick by. Make different categories and through trial and error you will figure out about how much money you need to set aside for each category.

Here is general example from my life... I get paid twice a month and the first thing I figured out is which paycheck will my bills, rent, utilities, etc come out of. Next I have to figure out how much money I plan on spending at the grocery store, for Gas, Entertainment, and savings. When I had debt I would after figuring out all the basics then I would put all the extra money to my debt (see my blog on getting out of debt for more info). Right now my emergency fund is a little low so I need to set aside a lot of money to savings. Also always set aside money for entertainment but if you need to be saving or getting out of debt you need to allocate a lot less for this category.

Some people think that budgeting limits their fun but it feel much better to have a budget than to use your ATM card and HOPE that there is still money in the bank or use your credit card and hope that the last payment went through. It feels much more freeing to know where your money is going.

Here are some questions that I had when I started budgeting:

What if I want to plan a trip how does that fit into my budget?
Here is how you would do it... Lets say you plan on taking a vacation 6 months from now and the trip cost you 400 dollars. Well you take that 400 and divide that by 6. So that would be about 67 dollars a month you would need to add to your budget each month. If the amount of money the trip will cost you per month is more than you can squeeze out of your budget then it is best you put of the trip for awhile. If you sometimes like to take last minute mini vacations a lot then plan for that by putting into your budget a vacation fund then you will be prepared.

What if I need to buy things like new clothes or shoes?
Same as with the vacation... you know you will need new clothes so you can save a little in each budget into a clothes fund so when you are ready to buy you will have the money.

What if something is on sale that I want?
If you don’t have enough money budgeted you can’t get it. The thing is it isn’t healthy to impulse shopping. I used to buy almost everything and anything I wanted as long as I could figure out how to get money for it. I discovered by waiting and budgeting I realize that I didn’t really need or want the item as much as I thought I did at the time. Have you ever went shopping only to come home with a bunch of stuff you really had no business buying and regretted it? If you see something and go home and think about it before you buy it you may be able to talk yourself out of the purchase. One way I overcome this is by making a Wish List on Amazon.com. A Wish List (as I mentioned in some of my other blogs) is like a shopping cart on Amazon but it is more of a favorites list where you can save a list of items you may “wish” to buy in the future. What I try to do is keep a wish list and then after the item has been on my list for some time I decide whether or not I still want it. If I don’t want it anymore I delete it. If I do want it I set aside money in my budget for that item.

Can I make adjustments to the budget after I make it?
Well the answer is maybe. I wouldn’t recommend doing it all the time but if you do make sure you figure it out on paper. Don’t pull what I had pulled when I would see something I “wanted” and thought “I know I have x number of dollars in the bank so I will buy it and then redo my budget when I get home”. The problem is when I get home I may forget or find that I won’t be able to buy as much groceries that pay period. Not fun.

How do I know how much money to set aside for each category?
This will take a few weeks to figure out. Since you will be watching more of what you are spending take a look at how much your are paying for gas and what you need to pay for every category. As you are watching what you are spending you will notice areas you could cut back on and other areas where you can save. Here are some examples: With gas lets say you set aside 70 dollars per pay period and you find out that you aren’t driving as much as you thought so the next pay period you would set aside less. Or lets say you notice gas prices are going up so then you set aside more for gas then you did prior. My suggestion is you set aside more than you need for a few weeks and if you have any extra put it into savings or into a different category.

What if an emergency comes up?
You need an emergency fund to cover emergencies. You should save, if you are out of debt or have a variable income, at least 6 months of expenses. That is something I am working on now. The thing is is you know that your car is going to have problems. Everyone’s car does at some point. You know things are going to come up. If you have money set aside now then when those emergencies come up you are ready for them. As mentioned before when I had things “happen” in my life I didn’t know what to do and I was in a panic and it was usually over a small amount of money. Now that I have a savings it doesn’t hurt as bad when I have to take my car in for repairs.

Prepare for the future
One problem today is that there are too many people who are living day to day and month to month looking at the problems that are in front of them right now. I used to live that way and it wasn’t fun. It is really easy to get cynical about life that way. You feel that you can never get ahead in life. Have you ever had the attitude when things are going good... “yeah things are going good right now but it is only a matter of time before something comes up and everything falls apart again. I can never get ahead in this world.” When you learn to budget you loose that attitude for the most part because you are looking to the future and saving money and budgeting your money in a way that you will be prepared for most of the problems that life has to throw at you. No it won’t protect you from everything but when life kicks you in the ass it will leave a much smaller dent then it did would have before.

Where I am at now
I have been okay at budgeting but what I am working on right now is learning how to look for better deals. I shop at a grocery store that charges inflated prices and the only reason why I go there is because it is close to my home. If I drove just 3 more blocks I could cut my grocery budget down by at least 30 to 40 percent.

Thanks for reading and I hope this has been a help to you.

Want to learn more? Check out Clark Howard’s page on Budgeting by Clicking here.

getting out of debt

2008-07-29T18:59:00.000-07:00

My life, when I was in debt, was very very tough. I would live paycheck to paycheck and anytime any emergency came up I didn’t know where I was going to get the money. All my credit cards were maxed out because of my spending habits. My paycheck would come in, and since I didn’t have a budget, I would spend everything after I paid the minimums on all my bills. The worst part is something would come up and I had no available credit on my cards. ALL MAXED OUT! The sad thing was I didn’t realize at the time how bad my problem was. I knew so many people in the same place I was I couldn’t begin to imagine that there was a way out. Little did I know all this was going to change soon...

Two big events set me on the path to becoming debt free:

The first that will probably be familiar to MANY people was my car was making strange noises and the engine light was coming on and I knew it was time take my car in but the hundred dollars I had on my Discover card wasn’t going to cover it. So I waited about a month to make sure I had enough money in hand to have the car worked on. Well the day had come to take it in and I only had scraped together about 250 dollars. I was hoping that would cover it. Well it was going to be over 450 dollars!!! My heart stopped when I heard that. I thought, “where am I going to get THAT kind of money!” I called the credit card companies to see if I could get a credit increase. No luck. I finally had to delay paying some of my bills. Lucky for me I didn’t get too penalized for it. These kind of scenarios happened all the time but this time I stopped and thought about it more. I thought about how pathetic I was that I couldn’t come up with only 200 dollars more. I started to cut back on my spending and wanted to change but I didn’t have the tools to do it....

Now this is the cool part. I pretty much know that with over 20,000 in debt I wouldn’t be buying a home anytime soon but I wanted to know what the processes was so I met with a loan officer who used to be my neighbor. Once he saw my budget he said that there was no way I could afford the payments. I asked “could I afford to buy a mobile home?” he replied “you couldn’t even afford to rent a spot to put a mobile home on.” Then he looked over my budget again and then made a suggestion. He took the time and sat with me and walked me through how to budget and showed me some ideas on how to work down my debt. Then he gave me homework. Everyday I was to listen to the Dave Ramsey Show on the way home from work (more on that later). The important info here is I was given hope that day. Hope that I could actually eliminate my debt.

The Dave Ramsey Show

What is the Dave Ramsey Show? It is a call in radio show, hosted by Dave Ramsey, where people call in to ask advice about money. Most of the calls are from people trying to get out of debt. I would listen to the show on my evening walks. I put many of the things he said to practice. I bought his book which gave much more detail then what he shares on the show and now I had the tools to get out of debt. My primary hobby became getting out of debt. It became a game to me.

Here is how I started (following the Dave Ramsey Plan

Budgeting: I had to learn how to budget. Budgeting is not necessarily making that long term plan for the year (though that is part of it) It is BEFORE you spend any money you MUST have a plan where every dollar is going to go. I make categories for Grocery store items, gas, rent, utilities, entertainment, and back then a debt category. The best part is you will find as I had found that you will have MORE money at the end of the month then you thought.
Set up an emergency fund: This used to be common back in the day but people these days have replaced the emergency fund with the credit card. The purpose of the emergency fund is to have a certain amount of money available just incase life happens. Remember my story about my car where I only needed another 200 dollars? With an emergency fund you would have the money available to cover any kind of basic “emergency” that comes up. Dave Ramsey suggest you start out with 1000 dollars while you are getting out of debt. I paid minimum on my debts for about 3 months while I saved up the 1000 dollars. It was such a relief to have that kind of money available. This money was not for fun stuff it was to cover the unexpected.

Get rid of the credit cards and close the accounts: Yes I said it. I got rid of ALL my credit cards. My problem with debt before was I would be paying down my debt but then there would be some new gadget I had to have. I would go online to see how much credit I had on my Best Buy credit cards and I would buy what I wanted. Without the cards I couldn’t add to my debt and with the accounts closed I couldn’t “shop online” with an account number from my bill. I was done with credit. You may be thinking “what did you do if an emergency came up?”.... I had my emergency fund. “Emergencies” did come up and I would use money from my thousand dollars. I would then just pay minimum again on my bills until that thousand was replenished.

Pay off debts smallest to largest: This was the genius part of the plan in my opinion. Pay minimum on ALL your debt except for the smallest. On the smallest pay ALL the extra money you have left. Once you knock out that one go to the next highest. What is cool as Dave Ramsey says is you feel the “victory” of getting rid of a bill. And it felt great. Every-time I made a final payment on one of my cards I would feel joy. It was a good feeling. And after two years of paying down my debt, when I made my last payment I felt great! It has been several months and the only bills I have are rent, insurance, and utilities. That’s it!

Make a bigger emergency fund: You need to save up enough money so you can be covered if you didn’t have a job for about 6 months. That covers making sure that all your bills are paid and your needs are met for that period of time. One way to think about it is you are creating your own emergency credit card. If you felt safe with your handy 3 thousand dollar limit Visa now imagine you having a self funded 6 thousand dollar emergency Visa. There would be no need t use credit cards for emergencies anymore.

There are a few more steps but it would be best you check out the Dave Ramsey website for yourself.

Thanks for reading my story and I hope it helps.

life before the internet

2008-07-29T18:58:00.000-07:00

Are you old enough to remember life before the internet?

I was alive then but I really have to think about what I did during my free time before the internet. It has become such an integral part of our lives it almost seems impossible to live without it.

One of my primary uses for the internet is information gathering. I love to learn about all kinds of stuff and I have so many interests that I finish a web search on one topic and once I am satisfied with the info I learned I am on myspace seeing what is going on with my favorite bands. All the information I would ever want is just one Google search away...

Then I head to all the message boards and internet communities that I belong to in order to see what is going on in the lives of my online friends. I have met people I would have never met before if it wasn't for the internet. Made some great friends... some I have met in person and some I only know them from their screen names. It is funny when I think I am the only one obsessed about something then I find an entire community of people whom are more obsessed than me. Trippy stuff. But there was a time before the internet... well... a time before the internet as we know it today.

Before internet

I was always an information junkie. I have many obsessions and whatever obsession I had at any given time I had to find out more about it. From Star Wars to Chicago (the band). Whatever nugget of info I could get was precious to me. Before internet that meant I spent time in book stores looking for books on the topic. Some I would buy others I would turn to that one page that had the info I wanted. I wanted to know the history of my favorite bands... there was a book on that. I would look at the newspaper daily to see if any information about my favorite bands showed up in the entertainment section. When an article showed up I would cut out the article so I could refer to it later. If there was a topic I would like I would buy a book on it. It was harder to get info back in the day but it was available. You just had to know where to find it and I found a way. Even though I would never want to go back to those days there was something fun about the challenge of information gathering. It is much more easy today. All I need to do is do a search and I can spend a week just on one topic alone.

Where it all began

My first experience with the internet was my Sophomore year in college. The year was 1993. I was a Graphic Design major that was an option under the Industrial Technology (IT) department at the time at Fresno State. At the top floor in the IT building they had one of a limited few internet computer labs. Very few people spent time up there. It was mostly computer buffs and people who would play this online text only computer game called MUTT. Never played it myself but it reminds me of Dungeons and Dragons from what I recall. I heard about the internet but it really didn't interest me much. Some of the IT students would go up there and talk online with people all over the world. I thought that was an interesting concept but the way I communicated best was face to face. I didn’t even like talking on the phone much because I needed to see someone’s body language when talking to them. At least in a phone conversation you have voice fluctuations but the internet was just words on the screen.

One day this guy from a couple of my classes, whom I thought was kinda strange but interesting, really wanted to show me this thing called the "internet". I figured way not try it out. So I follow him up the flight of stairs to the "internet room". Keep in mind that web browsers weren’t popular yet at this point because there wasn’t websites as we know them today. We entered the empty room and he turned computers on. This computer didn't have windows installed so he had to hit a few commands on the DOS prompt and there it was. An international chat room. I said "Hi" and some person from some European country said "hi" back. Nothing too exciting. I just watched the text scroll up as people were talking about, in my opinion, nothing. I looked over at him and he was jamming away at the keyboard and I was trying to discern what they were talking about. There were so many people talking at once I couldn’t figure it out and honestly I didn’t care.

I told him I had to go and he logged me out and asked if I wanted to come back and do the internet again tomorrow. I told him no. He was visably sadden by the response. He really wanted an internet buddy since a lot of people really didn't care to hang out with him in that computer lab. Why he wanted me to be on the internet so bad is beyond me. He had his friends to talk to online why does he need another person in the room talking on the same chat room.

A week went by and every time he would see me he would beg me to go back to the computer lab with him again and each time I said NO. We were in a woodshop class together and one of my projects I was working on turned up in the wood scrap pile. Luckily someone recognized it. I think it was him because we shared a locker in that class but I couldn’t prove it but I did stop putting my stuff in there. Well after a couple of weeks went by he came into class with a folded piece of paper that he said was for me. I opened it up and it was obviously something he made up on the computer that said I owed the school about a 150 dollars for the time I spent on the internet that day. He said that the only way I could get out of paying the bill is if I got on the internet at least 3 times a week so I can prove that I was using it for research. He said if you just get on once the school knows I was just messing around. I don't remember what I said to him but I did make it very clear that I knew he was full of it. After about 2 more weeks of him reminding me to pay the bill he finally gave up and left me alone and I did my best to stay far from him

Of course I didn't stay away from the internet forever. Once the concept of websites and internet graphics became popular I had to learn what this internet was all about since I knew that if I wanted to continue in Graphic Design I had to learn about websites. I started out like most people on AOL dial up. I learned to email other family members who had the internet, I began bookmarking favorite sites related to my interests, and the rest is for another random blog on another random day.

What I miss about the old days

Sometimes when I get a little obsessive on the internet and spend way too many hours online, I wish it was easier for me to turn off the computer, go to the library, and look up information the old way. It is much harder to do but at least I would be getting myself away from this screen that I spend way to much in front of. But with that said the thought of spending a week or even a day away from the computer is tough. Any time I have tried there is something that creeps into my head that I just HAVE TO know about and I turn the computer back on again.

There Is Hope

Lately I have been able to find a solution to my internet problem. Podcasts. Podcasts are downloadable internet radio shows. Yes, podcasts are on the internet, but they are downloadable to an ipod. What I have been able to do is download podcasts that relate to my favorite topics. I download them onto my ipod and listen to them while I do my walks, while I am sitting back with my eyes closed on my recliner, or while I am working around the house. Podcasts are a way to gather information and learn about things without staring at a screen. If you haven’t checked out podcasts download iTunes which is a free program and look through the podcast directory. All the podcasts in the directory are free of charge. You will be surprised how well these shows are produced. Some are made by a company to promote their product or show and some are fan produced by people who love the topic so much that they want to share with others. Hmmm... maybe I should make a podcast version of this website? NA... that will just be more time I will have to spend in front of the computer.

mind clutter: the iphone

2008-07-29T18:38:00.001-07:00

The iPhone has been both a blessing and a curse. The good is I can be in contact with whomever whenever. The bad is I can be in contact with whomever whenever. I was thinking just now though, why do I feel like I have to have the phone on all the time? I think I may turn it off from time to time so I can enjoy not being connected.

This week Apple released iPhone 2.0 software. I was so excited downloading programs and a lot of free ones that make it easier for me to connect to the social networking sites like myspace, facebook, and twitter. Pretty fun stuff. One thing though is I tried to set up ebook readers and the bible on the phone. I want to replace my (non internet connected) Palm. I use the Palm for it’s great to do list feature, to read the bible, and ebooks. Though the screen on the iPhone is better the lightness of the Palm is much nicer. But like being connected to everyone all the time the iPhone too is too distracting when trying to read. The temptation to check my email or the news when I should be reading a book is too distracting. Sometimes it is best not to be on a connected device.

This week I am going to try not to browse the internet as much on my phone and make the thing work for me instead of it becoming a crutch as it seems to have been lately. The iphone is a great tool but it can be really addicting to be connected all the time. I need to take the time to shut it off and go out there and enjoy life and get things done!

internet addiction

2007-09-03T18:25:00.000-07:00

As mentioned in my other blog posts on this site I am an information junkie. I always like to learn stuff and so when I first got the internet in the 90s I was glued to the computer screen learning information on my favorite bands, looking up what was going on in the world, and joining message boards in order to talk with people who share similar interests.

Sometimes it is really hard to pull me away from the computer. It may be I am waiting a reply to an e-mail, reloading pages on message boards to see if someone replied to me, or just an obsession to learn more about what I was thinking about that day. In fact when I can no longer think of something to obsess over I would look up websites on obsessive behavior. It is really tough sometimes to just shut off the computer and pick up a book.

Am I really an addict in the true sense of the word? Not really. I still do my walks; I still go to work; I still get done a lot of the things I need to do. In some ways it is better than watching TV all day because at least I am communicating with people on message boards, Instant Messaging, myspace, etc.

My hope is that I can learn to limit my time on the computer and not feel the need to look up every little thing that comes to mind. I need to learn to just check my favorite sites twice a day instead of on the hour. Now that I have an iPhone I find myself going online more than ever. I try to at least leave the phone at home when I walk so I am not walking into polls as a post to my favorite message boards. It would be nice if I could make an attempt to go a whole week without the internet. Of course the first thing that will happen is I will be thinking of the bills I haven’t paid online yet or I will feel the need to check my email. In the past I was successful by giving myself a certain set hours that I could be online. Maybe I should try that again sometime.

the curse of itunes

2007-09-03T18:01:00.000-07:00

When I was in the 6th grade, in 1986, one thing that I desired more than anything was a Juke Box. I would go to the pizza parlor and while all the other kids had quarters for video games I was dropping quarters into the jukebox. Back then juke boxes still used 45 records and what I always found cool is they always seemed to have had the latest singles that were playing on the radio. I dropped the quarters in and chose about 3 of my favorite songs and I would listen for it and when it came on I made sure everyone knew that was the song I chose. That year I also started spending my allowance on 45s and I wanted to make sure I had all the latest music on record. In the back of my head I was thinking, “one day I will be able to put all these records into my own juke box”. Well back then I never could have imagined they would have computers where you could put all your music in that would be far superior to a jukebox.

Flash forward years later. I replaced buying 45s for buying CDs and had a collection of hundreds of CDs. So many that there are some that I will probably never pull out again to listen to. I had transfered ALL my music to the Apple’s free iTunes music player. I had so much music on there I was constantly organizing it. For some reason I felt I needed to keep every song from every album to make sure the integrity of the album was in tact. But why? When I listened to that album on CD I would just skip to the 2 or 3 songs that I liked and ignore the duds. I would spend hours on making playlists and anytime I would think about what I wanted to listen to it would take me forever to decide. It got to a point where I was no longer enjoying the music. It became a chore trying to decide what I would call the genres and then I would change my mind again and change it all back.

I finally gave up when I realized that I was spending 4 hours in front of the computer sorting through all my music files. It was time for me to do something different. I decided to keep all the albums that I enjoyed and for all the other albums I started to delete all the tracks I didn’t like. I removed the album name and replaced it with the decade the song was originally released. I then made playlists for each decade and one big one with all the songs. The reason for this was so I can just choose which decade I was in the mood for and hit shuffle. Shuffle is an awesome feature because it gives you the feel like you are listening to the radio without commercials and best of all it they are all songs that I enjoy. Since then I have spent very few hours organizing my music. When I get a new album. I keep it in tact for a few days and after a month or so if the album tracks don’t interest me I start to delete songs.

The best part is the albums I really cherish are much easier to find in the list of thousands of songs and when I am ready for variety it is just two clicks away. I finally have a jukebox that I can enjoy. Even better, this computer came with a remote control!

collecting, an american disease

2007-08-15T17:48:00.000-07:00

You will see a few names thrown around on my site and one of them is Dave Ramsey. Dave Ramsey is the author of the book “The Total Money Makeover” and has a radio show and podcast called “the Dave Ramsey Show”. The main focus of Dave Ramsey’s books and show is to deal with life issues as it relates to money. I was reading an article from his site that caught my attention. It really spoke to me because it talked about an issue I needed to deal with called contentment it discussed that we try to say... I will be happy if I get this... I will be happy if I get that and the truth is we need to learn to be content with what we got. Contentment is being at peace with ourselves and realize that stuff won’t make us content. Another thing he pointed out in the article is that we all suffer from a disease called “Stuffitis” which is the love of STUFF. Check out the article here. It is worth reading.

This is one problem that I and many others have to deal with on a daily basis. Even though I am much better than I used to be I still suffer from “Stuffitis”. Sometimes it is a new model computer that comes out that I just HAVE TO HAVE. Maybe it’s the latest CD I have to have from some old band I liked... I may not like the band as much anymore but I got albums 1 thru 10 why not buy 11 too complete my collection.

I have collected many things that I felt I just had to have. Like an itch that I have to scratch. The funny thing is I lie to myself too. I say things like... If I had that I would be happy... I get whatever that is... but then my focus locks on to something else that I have to have. Kinda pathetic but I know I am not alone. It was much like the Tribbles from a classic 60s Star Trek episode “Trouble with Tribbles”. The Tribbles were cute harmless, round, furry little creatures that purred but there was a catch... they were born pregnant and if you fed them just a little within minutes they would birth 10 more Tribbles. Soon the Enterprise was filled with these (so called) harmless tribbles and they didn’t know how to get rid of them. Stuff is a lot like that. If you decide to start a “collection” you will feel you have no choice but to “complete” the collection. Surprisingly this can get very stressful and take up a lot of time. Collectors, like I once was, when a new item would come out would feel as though they have to drive ALL over town to find that one item since by it being released made the formerly complete collection incomplete. HEAVEN FORBID!

How did I overcome this? I sold off, gave away, and threw out many of my collections of stuff. Do I still have some stuff?... YES... but no where near what I used to have. As I got rid of things I felt the stress that me it brought lifted. Here is another example of the stress stuff can bring... image you own a book that you planned on reading BUT it has been YEARS since you got the book and every-time you look at it you feel like you have to pick it up and read it. If you give away that book you no longer have the pressure to read it. I got rid of A LOT of books. I kept just a few that are fun to reread, reference books, or books that I can loan/give to friends who can learn from the valuable info it provides.

One area I need to work on is collecting music. I have SO much music that I have bought over the years that I it says on iTunes that it would take me over 20 days nonstop to listen to it all. Before I purged my collection of music it was probably 3 or 4 times that! I have spent MORE time organizing my collection than I do listening to it. One thing I am doing to overcome this is I have made an absolute favorites list and new releases that I keep grouped together. I have a 4 Gig iPod where I keep those favorites. (I used to have a larger iPod but I spent too long to decide what I wanted to listen to) When I get tired of one of the albums I replace it with another one from my collection. I don’t buy a new album unless I absolutely love the music samples I heard.

A great tip I learned that helps me with my stuff collecting habits: Make an Amazon.com wish list. If you have an Amazon.com account there is a button on the pages for each item called the “wish list”. If you hit that button it creates a list for you of items you may want to purchase in the future. What I do is if something new comes out I add it to the list and I think about it for a few days and in some case do more research. I leave it on there until I have decided that I don’t want it. Sometimes after research and thinking about I decide to by the item. As I will say all over this site.... I am not perfect at this but as a general rule this has works pretty well for me.